What’s it like to have sex for the first time after giving birth? Will it hurt? Will it feel different? Will I still be able to enjoy it? We asked 10 women to share their experiences.
Actress Amy Schumer is known for giving a no-holds-barred account of… well, everything, really. In fact, she famously once said that she “doesn’t believe in TMI”. And that includes discussing the topic of sex after childbirth.
Describing her post-childbirth vagina, Amy likened it to ‘garbage’, saying “It’s just street trash. It’s honestly just, like, huge now.” She also says that her and her husband don’t have sex as often as before they became parents but that they try to do it once a week to “avoid feeling like roommates”. So we thought we’d ask other moms what their experience of sex after childbirth was like.
Women share what it was like to have sex again after having a baby
Today’s the day
My husband was waiting for me at home when I came back from my 6-week post-birth check-up. He had a huge smile on his face because he knew today was the day I’d get the all clear. I’d had a c-section (and had recovered well) and was dreading having sex again but actually everything felt the same as before.
I was breastfeeding and nobody had warned me that it might mean my body would provide virtually no natural lubrication. It was painful and unpleasant but it gets better (also: use lube… lots of it).
The new normal
The sex itself hasn’t changed – my husband says I don’t ‘feel’ any different after having a natural vaginal birth but it’s the type and frequency of sex that’s been the biggest adjustment. We’re both so exhausted all the time – and are hyper aware that the baby could start crying at any moment – that a quickie has become our new normal.
Don’t overthink it
In the beginning I felt really self conscious about my flabby tummy (just so you know, it’s still flabby and my youngest is almost four now) but my partner was just delighted I was naked and keen to get it on. My advice is not to overthink it – just do it!
Lingering birth trauma
I had a really traumatic birth experience so I was terrified to have sex. It was months before I was comfortable sleeping with my partner. And the whole time I kept panicking that I’d fall pregnant again, even though I was on The Pill. I’m too scared to have another child and it has been over a year – and I still get panicky every time we have sex because there’s always a chance we could have ‘an oopsie’.
Better than ever
I had an episiotomy with my last child and I’m convinced I have some nerve damage from that. Sex doesn’t hurt but it definitely doesn’t feel the same as before. It’s not quite as enjoyable on a physical level because I can’t feel as much but, emotionally, becoming parents has brought us closer as a couple so sex is so much better on that level!
Is it wrecked forever?
My husband won’t admit to it but I think he was traumatised by watching me go through labour. He has had no interest in sex since our son was born almost 9 months ago. I’m worried that’s our sex life wrecked forever.
It gets better
Our sex life is better than ever and we have three kids now. Not only am I more comfortable than ever in my (admittedly not perfect) post-partum body, my husband and I are so comfortable with each other after more than a decade together as a couple. Women should know that sex can be BETTER after babies!
Be prepared to laugh
You need to have a sense of humour if you’re going to have post-partum sex. My boobs kept squirting milk at my husband. I was mortified but he laughed and that made me relax too.
The first few times I had sex after having a baby I felt a lot of burning during penetration. It wasn’t really painful, but was quite uncomfortable. It happened the first couple of times but everything went back to normal eventually.