embarrassing parenting fails

We love our kids but let’s be honest, parenting isn’t always loving cuddles and bedtime stories. It can be embarrassing… very embarrassing. And these moms found that out the hard way.

Flirting fail

This one happened to my sister – she was out doing some grocery shopping when her son was about nine months old. She said quite a good-looking man kept glancing over at her and she was quite flattered. Eventually he came up to her, but instead of using a pick-up line, he told her that her son’s nappy had leaked all the way down the side of her pants.

Can you keep a secret?

My five year old proudly announced to my mother in law that when we were out the other day, we played the ‘hide from Granny’ game. Seeing my mother in law’s confusion, she explained, ‘it’s when we see you but we can’t say hello so we have to hide’. I still don’t think our relationship has recovered.

But mom…

Waiting for my seven year old to get out of school one afternoon, I started making small talk with one of the other moms who I’d met a few times before. When my daughter got out of class, she came up to us, pulled on my arm and asked me why I was talking to Julia’s mom – ‘because you told Daddy you didn’t like her’. If only the floor had swallowed me up to end my humiliation.

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Potty-training fail

Anyone who’s been through the toilet training process knows what a nightmare it can be. My son was a slow learner so whenever he went to the toilet we’d clap our hands and tell him ‘well done’. One afternoon when we had friends over, he came out into the garden and – in front of everyone – dropped his pants and had a poo on the lawn, shouted, ‘look mom a poo!’ and gave himself a round of applause.

You’re next

When my father-in-law died, I had to explain to my four year old that it’s very sad but sometimes old people like grandpa die. I actually thought he’d forgotten about it until a few weeks later when we were in the shops and he said to the (elderly) woman next to us, ‘My mom says old people like you die all the time’. I’m not sure who was more horrified; me or her!

Is that a baby bump?

My daughter was so excited when I was pregnant and couldn’t wait to meet her little brother. Because she was only three, we’d told her that mummy had ‘a baby in her tummy’. We soon regretted it when she started pointing at anyone – male or female – who had an even slightly round tummy and saying, ‘they’ve got a baby in their tummy, too’. A couple of people saw the funny side of things, but most were not impressed.

When I grow up

This is cute rather than embarrassing, but a friend of mine has a four year old daughter who excitedly told me that when she grows up she’s going to have ‘the lipstick, boobies and everything!’

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Um… where’s it?

We invited friends over for a braai one evening and one of our guests, who had his leg amputated a few years ago, was standing around the fire when my son came out to say goodnight to us after his bath. My son was holding a torch and I could only watch in horror as he kept moving the light of the torch up and down where our guest’s leg would have been, trying to figure out what was going on. Luckily, my friend saw the funny side of it.

You’re not my mom

I offered to take my niece out to a movie for her birthday. We were in the queue for popcorn when she said she wanted popcorn, a chocolate and cold drink When I said ‘no’, she shrieked, ‘you’re not my mom – leave me alone’, and ran away from me. Everyone was convinced I was a kidnapper and I’ve never let her live it down.

@*#%e

Thankfully my husband and I were the only ones to witness the gem that came out of our toddler’s mouth a few months ago. We were in traffic and someone was trying to push into my lane so I hit my hooter. From the back seat, my daughter shouted, ‘Oh is that another
a–hole mommy?’