This is a post my husband wrote from his perspective …
My wife’s always sharing her perspective on parenthood on her blog Aisha & Life. So, I took over her blog last month in celebration of Father’s Day to give you mine. Share it with your men, expectant brothers and friends. They need all the help they can get.
1. Get ready for some changes
Throughout pregnancy, things may change in a day. She might love something one day and hate it the next. That applies to you too. You may smell of raw onions to your wife even if you haven’t eaten anything oniony. Your wife’s personality will also change; the baby hasn’t made her crazy but the hormones have and that’s natural. You’re the rational one at this point … but don’t ever let your wife know it. Don’t be confrontational; it’s temporary so just accept it. Pregnancy brain is a real thing by the way. She will forget a lot of things! Tons and tons of things, even leaving something on the stove while it’s cooking. Stay calm, it’s normal. Offer to be present and to help out because I’m sure you wouldn’t want your house to burn down.
“No matter how hard it is on you, it’s much harder on her. No matter how neglected, tired, annoyed or frustrated or angry you feel, it’s much worse for your partner.”
2. Always have petrol in the car
You need to be ready to do anything your wife needs you to. If she’s cold in winter, go and get gas for the heater. If it’s topping up things for the hospital bag, don’t argue; just go do it. If you’re driving her anywhere, plan your routes around toilets because your wife can literally pee at the house then five minutes later need to pee again. Always have petrol in the car. It should never be one of those “I just need to quickly put in petrol, then you can go to the bathroom”. Don’t do it, dude! Accept the fact that this is going to happen and it’ll keep you a lot saner. You’ll be like “You just pee’d … why do you need to pee again?’ But she does, so just be ready for it.
3. Sex will change – a lot
When it comes to sex, you’ll figure out positions that work and others that won’t anymore, and that’ll change throughout pregnancy. Because your wife will be heavier, she’ll have less balance in some positions than others so you’ll need to figure out the new positions according to what’s comfortable for her. Don’t force issues, just be grateful you’re still getting it!
4. Watch out for pregnancy farts
If you and your wife don’t already fart in front of each other, you’re going to be in for a rude awakening. Pregnancy farts are insane, man! Those are the most hectic farts you’ll ever experience because it’s like two people farting at the same time and it’ll happen a lot. Most of the time, it’s out of her control. It’s bad. Crack a window and deal with it. She’s carrying your baby so cut her some slack.
5. You’ll feel left out
You can feel very neglected. Everything she does, everything that she reads, everything she’s being told by other moms before her, is all baby related. You’ll feel like this baby has completely replaced you in your relationship. You’ll also get tired of talking about a child that isn’t even there yet sometimes. But your wife will feel even more neglected if you aren’t present because she’ll feel as if you’re leaving her to do this on her own. Help out as much as you can; offer to cook or pick something up for dinner. Just always be ready to do something. And doing something could also mean just being there and keeping quiet.
One more thing
Don’t take anything your wife says or does to you personally. You won’t have time to deal with it when the baby comes anyway, so just put it all aside. She’s going through a huge medical, hormonal, physical and emotional change that she’s never experienced before and it’s scary for her. No matter how hard it is on you, it’s much harder on her. No matter how neglected, tired, annoyed or frustrated or angry you feel, it’s much worse for your partner. Be as supportive as you can, don’t take things personally and be there for her.
And forgive her for those lethal farts!
Aisha O’Reilly is a young African woman who loves natural hair, beauty and being a new mommy, among other things. Her aim is to inspire and encourage fellow women by giving them a peek into her life, with all of its ups, downs, questions and adventures in her blog, Aisha and Life.