Ever find yourself sitting and wondering how is it that it’s February and you are already so tired? Well, I found myself asking that question, except it was in January.
When the year started, I was ready to hit the ground running. I had my little ducks in a row and basically ready to put in the work and boy did I do it! I poured every fibre of my body and then a little more into everything I had set my mind into. Sadly, that didn’t produce much result.
It wasn’t because I was doing it all wrong or maybe that my mind was focused on all the wrong things. It was rather that my mind was too busy. See, as soon as I decided on what it is that I wanted to achieve this year, my brain went into overdrive. I’d be sitting and trying to relax, and my mind just would not shut down. Constant thoughts ran through my head, ideas kept popping up, and exhaustion slowly crept in. It also didn’t help that I had a then almost two-month-old baby to tend to and a very busy five-year-old. It all quickly became too much, and I needed out.
“I had to press a rest button on the situation to remedy it before it got out of control. I had to find my feet and stand firm on the ground to reclaim my sanity.”
I was already feeling worn out and yet the year had just started. My daughter (5) would constantly ask me why I was always sleeping, and I’d have absolutely no answer for her except that Mommy had to rest her eyes to get energy. It had to stop and had to be fast.
The truth is, I quickly became overwhelmed by everything that was happening around me. Daughter started a new school, I have a small baby, parenting responsibilities, finding myself, getting work done, and so much more. To top it all off, I got a little too ahead of myself and wanted to do all I could whenever I had a moment. So, I took a step back. I had to press a rest button on the situation to remedy it before it got out of control. I had to find my feet and stand firm on the ground to reclaim my sanity.
- I wrote down weekly goals/deliverables to work towards the bigger goal, then broke those down into daily activities (including some time for myself to just relax)
- I then sorted that list in order from what was most important to the least important one. For the first time in a long time, I actually put myself and my well-being in that list and prioritised that.
- I established a routine with my kids that allows us enough time to interact and still have some downtime without being overly exhausted.
Yes, all this sounds so simple and chances are you’ve heard them all before, but believe me when I say they are life-changing. It is now almost mid-February and I’ve been able to get through my weekly goals and activities, done a load of my work that needed to be done, managed to keep my kids alive and happy, and still my head is attached to my body. For someone with barely any village around to swoop in when the red light goes on, these three simple points have been a lifesaver.
It’s good to remember that as a mother you don’t have to have it all together all the time. It’s okay to have a messy house, skip washing the dishes or even order takeaways instead of cooking dinner. It is all okay as long as it does not mean you settle for less in the name of ‘I don’t have to have it all together’.
So, to the mom who’s reading this and wondering if you’ll ever feel like yourself again, if that energy that you used to have will ever come back, if this overwhelming feeling will ever disappear … don’t despair. Just take a step back, reassess your situation and rearrange it. Half the time you’ll realise that it’s not that you didn’t have enough time to get through them all, but rather that progress was just being concealed by the lack or order and a disorganised front.
My name is Olerato Moiloa. I am a working mom with a 4-year-old little girl (Kamohelo) whom I call Kbear and another Little one on the way. During the day I work as an IT specialist and in the evenings, I am mostly Mom. In an attempt to find the *ME* in Mommy, I document my journey as I go through life exploring who I am as a Person, and how that affects my abilities as a Mother. All this I share on my blog Mommy and Baby Approved and through lifestyle videos blogs on my YouTube Channel.