hand writing stop bullying

It’s important to be able to recognise the signs that might suggest your child is being bullied at school, and know what steps to take when it arises within your child’s relationships.

Bullying among children is on the rise in South African schools. It can be physical, verbal (name-calling, taunting, teasing), social (being excluded) or cyber (via social media and online forums). There is no specific blueprint for the type of child who gets bullied – or the type of bully. However, children who are, for example, slightly different, anxious or shy can be easy targets.

The behaviours listed below may be due to reasons other than bullying, but the important thing is to always be aware and to act when necessary.

Signs that suggest your child might be a victim of bullying at school:

  • They tell you they’re being bullied.
  • They become more withdrawn.
  • Lose their appetite (or starts eating more than usual).
  • Cries easily.
  • Refuses to go to school.
  • Has trouble sleeping.
  • Starts wetting the bed.
  • Is reported by their teacher to get into fights easily and often.
  • Has unexplained bruises or scratches.
  • Appears to be upset after using their phone.
  • Complains frequently of head or stomach aches.
  • Begins to struggle academically or with concentration.
  • Starts speaking negatively about themselves.
  • Withdraws from social settings or time with specific friends or peers.
  • Their belongings go “missing” regularly.
  • They display self-destructive behaviours such as running away from home, self-injury or talking about suicide.

ALSO READ: Emotional eating in children & how to encourage a healthy relationship with food

What to do if your child is being bullied at school:

  • Stay engaged and involved in your child’s life – ask questions about their day.
  • Allow your child the freedom to talk about a variety of topics. The more open you are the more likely they will be to approach you.
  • Believe what your child is telling you to be true.
  • Be sensitive and acknowledge your child’s feelings.
  • Model positive behaviour regarding how to handle conflict.
  • Teach morals and acceptance at home.
  • Encourage independence.
  • Equip them with tools to handle the bully.
  • Call the parent of the child in question if worst comes to worst.
  • Monitor your child’s online and social media presence and activity.
  • Communicate with your child’s teacher.
  • Encourage your child’s school to adopt an anti-bullying campaign.
  • Seek professional assistance from a psychologist if necessary.

DON’T MISS: 10 hilarious confessions only moms will understand

What NOT to do if your child is being bullied at school:

  • Tell your child they’re being silly or must just ignore it.
  • Leave it and hope it will go away.
  • Tell your child it will make them stronger.
  • Tell your child to fight back.
  • Judge your child or think they’re weak.
  • Panic or become overly emotional. Be there for your child.
  • Catch the bully in the school parking lot and give them a piece of your mind.
  • Bully your own child, even just in jest. Innocent teasing or joking can often be misconstrued.

Advice for kids who are being bullied at school

If you’re being bullied at school, here’s what to do:

  • Tell the bully to stop.
  • Don’t respond or retaliate.
  • Tell a teacher or your parent.
  • Keep evidence (especially if you’re being cyberbullied).
  • Don’t hang out near the bully.
  • Don’t feel weak or useless.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Easy activities to entertain the kids (and you already have everything you need at home!)

Some resources for younger children that deal with bullying behaviour:

books and movies table

 

I am an HPCSA registered independent Educational Psychologist. I work at a school and in private practice. I offer short and long-term therapy for children, adolescents and young adults, as well as parental guidance. My method is primarily non-directive and psychodynamic but I will take the unique nature of every client into consideration when making a choice on how to proceed with therapy. I offer therapy for (among others) anxiety, anger, bereavement, depression, children struggling with divorce or parental conflict, adjustment and learning difficulties, self-esteem, eating disorders, self-injury and trauma.