normal things all moms think but few will admit to: shocked woman covering mouth

There are certain things we as moms just don’t feel comfortable saying – even though pretty much all of us have thought it. From missing the life you had before kids to having moments when you don’t particularly like your children, the only way for us to normalise these thoughts and feelings is for moms to speak about them more. Here, moms share the feelings they thought made them terrible parents but have since realised they’re all perfectly normal.

There was no ‘instant connection’

Everyone said I’d feel this immediate bond when my baby arrived. But I just felt overwhelmed when they handed him to me in the delivery room. It took months for me to feel the kind of motherly love that so many women talk about. I was scared to tell anyone at first because I thought it meant I didn’t love my child, but as soon as I started sharing how I felt, I realised how normal it is for that bond to take time to develop.

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Do we have to be friends? 

Unpopular opinion: while I appreciate that my kid’s friends’ parents make an effort to get to know me, just because our kids are in the same class it school, it doesn’t automatically mean we’re going to be best friends. Can’t we just be friendly without the expected emotional investment that’s brought on by random proximity?

I miss my child-free life

I love my children more than anything but I don’t always love being a mom. I often miss my child-free life and how few responsibilities I had. I wish more women would admit that they don’t enjoy every moment of parenting because it would have made me feel a lot more ‘normal’ during those first few lonely months.

I resent my partner

There are days when I resent my partner. When I’m exhausted, have reached my patience limit with the kids and really need a break, I can’t stop myself from thinking, “I wish I was a dad – it’s (generally) so much easier than being a mom”.

The newborn phase is awful

People literally recoil when I say this but I openly admit that I hate the newborn phase. It’s such hard work and there’s so little reward because your baby can’t interact with you – you’re basically just looking after a noisy digestive tract. I’m much more comfortable and capable when it comes to parenting older kids.

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Weekends aren’t much fun anymore

My kids go to school during the week and in the afternoons I have an au pair who watches them until I get home from work. But I have no help over the weekends and I barely ever get time to myself – and I can forget about relaxation and ‘down time’. I feel an overwhelming pressure to entertain the kids for two days and make sure they’re having a good time. I’m shattered by Sunday night and actually look forward to going back to the office on Monday.

Sometimes I don’t like my child

Yes, I love him more than life itself but sometimes I just don’t like my child. He’s only 7 but can be stubborn, rude, argumentative and just plain mean. There are times when he won’t listen, will chuck endless tantrums or refuse to eat anything I’ve made him. On those days, I can’t wait for it to be 7.30pm so he goes to bed and I don’t have to deal with him anymore.

I leave my baby to cry

If my daughter flat out refuses to sleep when I put her down, I leave her to cry in her cot anyway – and I close the door so I can’t hear her. Usually she settles after 10 minutes but there are days when she screams the whole time. I do feel guilty doing it but nap time is the only part of my day that I get a break and I need it.

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