5 things motherhood has taught me in a year

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I have only been a mother for a year and a few months, but I really can’t imagine my life without our precious daughter, Omntimande. To be honest, I doubted I could get through natural labour, but after all the pushing and screaming, it all became worth it.

My labour experience reminds me of TD Jakes’s ‘There is purpose in your pain’ (Holy Bible, Woman, Thou Art Loosed! Edition). All the pain became worth it when I heard that little cry. When it comes to being a mom, I believe that every day is a chance to learn something new. Here are five things motherhood has taught me.

1. There is a God in heaven

Going into labour is critical and there is no guarantee that you or your baby will come out alive, which is why my daughter is a constant reminder that there is a God in heaven. The period of pregnancy leading up to labour is amazing. Having a little human grow inside you and actually giving birth to them is mind-blowing. I sometimes sit and watch my daughter in silence and it’s hard to believe that I actually gave life to this busy little baby who is trying to find her place in this world. If you haven’t experienced being a mother, I promise you this is one of life’s best moments.

2. Who I really am

There is a quote by Osho (the Indian spiritual guru, philosopher and the leader of the Rajneesh movement) that says: ‘The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new’.

Motherhood has made me understand who I am and my purpose in life. When you become a mother, your priorities shift and it’s no longer about you. You tend to be more focused because there is now someone who will walk in your footsteps – my daughter is at that stage where she literally copies everything I do.

Motherhood allowed me to see another version of myself that I never knew existed. Growing up, I never imagined myself as a mother because I watched my own mother tirelessly doing everything. She went to work, came back to prepare supper, took us to school and the works. Many years later, I’m experiencing that for myself and I while it’s not the easiest job, it’s worth it.

pamela-mkhize-with-daughter-omnithando
Pamela Mkhize with her daughter, Omntimande. By Jessica Otto Photography

3. To appreciate the little things

When you become a mother, every milestone from that first toothy smile means a lot to you. I could barely hold back the tears when she took her first baby steps at 11 months, I was so happy that she’s walking! Everyone believes new moms know nothing and end up telling you stuff you never really want to hear. Someone told me my daughter will only walk after she turned one because she is bubbly; however, babies develop differently and, as parents, we need to understand that.

4. Pray for my daughter

I believe I am who I am today because there are women who are constantly praying for me. A lot is happening in the society we live in and through daily prayer I ask God to protect our daughter, and to help my husband and I to become better parents. We are products of prayers and that culture has been instilled in me; there is power in praying and speaking words of affirmation to your children every day.

“‘The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new’.”

5. There is no motherhood manual

As a brand-new mom, I knew nothing at first. I couldn’t even bath my baby but, the journey has been a learning curve. You learn something new all the time, and the best thing about it is there is no right and wrong. One of the worst things you can do to yourself as a mother is to compare yourself or your child to other mothers and their children – we are all different and we will do things differently.

Motherhood is a beautiful journey, not just of self-discovery. There is no greater joy than seeing my daughter’s smile when I come home from work. Here’s to my first year of being a mommy!

Also read:

I had a state hospital birth and I liked it!
What it means to embrace motherhood