To my wife, on Mother’s Day

So, it’s Mother’s Day again and, once again, I am reminded just what a fantastic mom you are!

We both know how tough modern parenting can be, especially if you are a working one like you and me, but despite the difficulties, you still manage to find a deeper level of care and empathy for our boys (and me too!) on a daily basis. This is at its most obvious when one of the boys get sick or tired. Toddlers can be difficult little humans to deal with when everything is going well, but when the sniffles, coughs and fever hits, our boys can be downright impossible. And yet, even in the midst of the worst tantrum, it seems there’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a proper cuddle from mommy. Our boys know that comfort and safety is found in your arms.

“It all seems exhausting. In fact, I know it is exhausting, but you do it all, every day, happily.”

Now that our little babies are becoming “big boys” (according to them – I know they will always be your babies) and are becoming more raucous and sometimes even gross, I can see that you are adapting your original parenting style. I think it’s clear there won’t be many tea parties in our home or many fairy dress-up sessions, but I think you’re doing a great job at being a mom to two kids who love to wrestle, get muddy and laugh at fart noises.

afrodaddy child Liam and julie mentor
Liam and Julie Mentor
afrodaddy child Eli and julie mentor
Julie and Eli Mentor

Of course, you have a husband who is a feminist and is totally involved in sharing the mental load as any good modern parent would … wait, that doesn’t sound right …

Of course, you have a husband who is trying to be a feminist and is totally involved in sharing the mental load as any good modern parent would, but he’s not there yet, which means that much of that burden still rests on you.

The problem is this: You do it all so well. I am amazed that you can spend a day at the office, have supper planned (most days), know the names and correct dosages of every medication our children have ever needed, remember who their friends are and which one of them has a birthday party this weekend – and know all the details of the greatest game of football ever played! (Liverpool vs. AC Milan, 2005 Champions League Final, btw)

It all seems exhausting. In fact, I know it is exhausting, but you do it all, every day, happily. I guess it’s because you love us or something? Obviously, I can’t talk about all the things you do in one letter, as it would take way too much to write down, but I can say that it doesn’t go unnoticed. Our boys are happy, silly, smiley, kind kids, and that is due in a massive way to all the hard work that you do for them and for us. And talking about the kind of children our boys are, I see the best parts of you in them. Like the way they care for each other: that only happens because they have seen you care for them first. Or the way they both are constantly singing – remind you of anyone?

So, thank you for all that you do. Thank you for caring for our sons and for helping me do the same. Thank you for worrying about their shoes and their posture and their screen time. And thank you for helping me be a better father, little by little, every day.

Happy Mother’s Day!

T

afrodaddy babyyumyum influencer

AfroDaddy, a.k.a. Terence Mentor, is a place for parents, especially dads, to come together and share in the “duality of parenting” – the fact that being a parent can be fantastic, wonderful and beautiful, while simultaneously being exhausting, frustrating and awful. A husband and father to two boys born 18 months apart, AfroDaddy shares his unique view and experiences, while opening himself to new experiences, learnings and people. You can find him at AfroDaddy.